“To know that you are a prisoner of your mind, that you live in an imaginary world of your own creation is the dawn of wisdom”

Nisargadatta Maharaj

Even though the world may be an illusion we still have an apparent experience of the world being real and experience pain and pleasure. As Ramana Maharshi said: “Because we see the world, it is best to accept that one fundamental, which is ourself, is what appears as all this multiplicity”.

While I was going through my existential crisis, I had an epiphany.

If everything is just a dream/ illusion, then what’s the point in getting upset over anything?

To stay in balance and happy while living in the relative world, I developed what I call balancing tools and choices, which integrate spirituality. . When I started to use these consistently, I felt like I had finally laid down my guns and walked away from my own war.

Every day we choose how to act or react to different situations. Here are positive choices I make daily in my own life that may give you examples that you can implement into your life too.

Choices

• Chilling out (Dulcimeditation) versus feeling stressed
• Contemplation over aggravation
• Simplicity over complexity
• Fun over fear
• Victor over victim

This may seem very simplistic however, part of the change I made was making my life easier. It’s about making conscious choices and forming them into habits. If I catch myself experiencing stress for example, then I use the balancing tools. 

Balancing Tools

For me balance is about each of the main aspects of our self being in harmony which are: Emotional, Mental, Physical and Spiritual. When one part of our lives is out of balance we can easily be thrown off, and life becomes difficult. These are the balancing tools I use that keep me from feeling out of balance which makes my life more fluid and happier and may give you some ideas to create your own balancing tools in your life

When I’m sad or angry- (Emotional)

I play music, read something spiritual, hike or exercise to kick in my endorphins, hug my dog, journal, or talk with someone I know and trust who will just listen, or offer advice. I also have no hesitation to reach out for professional help from either a life coach or a therapist if I need to.                                        

When I feel agitated or confused (Mental)

I find a book or video on the subject in question and get ideas for how to resolve my issues. I practice gratitude. I do dulcimeditation which brings me clarity and makes me feel peaceful. I also often remind myself that when I change the way I look at things, the things I look at change.

When I feel blah (Physical)

I make sure I get enough sleep, eat well, do intermittent fasting, work out, drink enough water, and walk in the woods or by the ocean. Being in nature always makes me feel grounded and healthier in general. I also have doctors I trust which I see once a year for year-round checkups.

When I need a spiritual perspective on things. (Spiritual)

I reconnect with my ‘source’ by reading something spiritual that I resonate with, meditate/dulcimeditation, reminding myself this is all an illusion, and talk with spiritual friends.

There is an saying I love: “Religion is for those that fear hell, and the spiritual is for those who have been there”. When people ask me what’s my religion, I tell them the same as God’s. I enjoy the teachings of Buddha, Ramana, Sufism, Jesus, The Kabbala, and the work of many writers, philosophers, and artists throughout time. There are a lot of paths to the mountain top.

You can do the same to find your tools. Look at each aspect of your life, mental, emotion, physical and spiritual and think about what you love, what moves you, and what brings you joy and go for it!

I have a friend who recently told me that he envied me. I asked him, “Why?”, and he told me “You never get upset about things, you never let life beat you down. It’s like you’re immune to what’s going on in the world”. I told him that I choose to be happy every day because I don’t like the alternative. Then I shared a story with him about a recent dermatology appointment I had. The dermatologist said,” Kevin you have a lot of moles and spots on your body which could very easily turn into melanoma”. I looked at him and asked, “Do I have any signs of cancer now”? He said, “no, not yet”. I put my shirt back on, looked at him, and said, “So, in other words, I’m cancer free, keep wearing my sunscreen, you’re doing great Kevin, and see you in a year.” I understood his concerns but didn’t appreciate his negative projections. So, I changed dermatologists and found one more optimistic.

Ever since my experience with melanoma, when shit hits the fan, my attitude is, well it ain’t cancer. The Serenity Prayer sums up how to have a great attitude in life. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”.

Maintaining Balance

Along with the things I do when I’m feeling out of balance, there are certain things I do to maintain staying in balance.

• Mindful Awareness – Being aware of how I’m feeling and what my gut is telling me throughout the day. I check in with myself and adjust my thinking when needed, then go with the flow.
• Simply Be– I sit down with coffee or tea in a quiet place

(Silence)and just be. No cell phones, emails, messages, work, or planning. I quiet my mind and relax. The world will be there when I get back to it.

• Spend time with Pet(s) – The joy and the unconditional love of playing with my dog. is the best therapy I know of. If you don’t have one, consider get one or spend time with a friend who does!
• Enjoy the mystery– Thinking about the connection between spirituality and science keeps me in awe. It reminds me that everything is simply a dream at play.
• Gratitude. – I feel the gratitude every day. I’m grateful I’m healthy, people enjoy my music, coaching, and I’m able to do what I love, and love what I do.

Every so often I drive to a place called Idyllwild for a change of scenery. It’s a beautiful mountain town about two hours from San Diego that has amazing hiking and views. The ‘outer view’ of being in nature changes my ‘inner view’ every time. I rented a tiny cabin in the woods there once, and while sitting on the small porch with Bosco curled up beside me, I wrote an instrumental piece which I recorded and named Idyllwild. Tapping into the musical muse is one of my favorite ways to stay grounded and happy, especially when instrumentals come to me in beautiful places with the scent of pine trees in the air.